Three months after my very successful boyfriend and I broke up, I dated another (really good looking) very successful man. When my ex found out about it, he accused me of being a gold-digger. I said, “How does that make me a gold-digger”? He said, “because every guy you date can do something for you.” I said, “That is not why I went out with him.” He said, “Why, then?” I told him the truth, “because, he is gorgeous!” My ex hung up on me.

They key word in my ex’s statement was “can”. Yes, successful men can do things for you. But do they? If we are referring to material things, it is a man’s generosity that matters, not the size of his bank account. You can nab a billionaire, but if he is not generous, what good is he? Besides, men are a pain in the ass. Especially rich ones! Most of them are selfish, spoiled, egotistical, and usually on a major power trip. They are not easy to be around if you are not in love. Like the saying goes, “A woman who marries for money earns every penny of it”!

I have always been attracted to successful men. None of these guys have paid my bills. I don’t think that is a bad thing. Successful people are attracted to successful people. Who you couple with, is a reflection of who you are. I take pride in the fact that I have never needed to read the many self-help books out there for women who think they deserve a bum who lives off her, beats her, and kicks her cat before plopping on the couch, belching up his beer. I have self-esteem. No one can convince me there is something wrong with me because I like successful men (especially a jealous ex).

Starting with the world’s oldest profession, women have been forced to rely on men for money. Once upon a time, women were not considered marriage material unless we could offer up a good cow or milk-producing goat as a dowry. Women through the centuries have been forced into arranged marriages to secure the wealth and status of their families. Our Grandmothers advised us that falling in love with a rich man was just as easy as falling in love with a poor one. Women have been conditioned to date up! Call it survival or just plain smart. But don’t call it “gold-digging”. That’s not fair.

My friend Seth asked me, “Aren’t there some real gold-diggers out there though?”

Sure! But without demand, there would not be a supply. If a man is trying to buy love, and lands a lady whose only got eyes for Louis Vitton, he should refer to that old Beatles song and realize that he got what he paid for.

Carrie Stevens

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